Friday, February 1, 2013

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you"

Looking back over the photos of Abi, here she is a little baby with such a smile.  Fast forward a couple of years and Abi is holding Sophia.  Nearly two years later, Abi, Sophia & Joelle sitting on the couch and I wonder some days, all this beauty in my life and some days I wonder, how am I going to make it? 

Some days I feel afraid I'm not going to make it, when I'm so tired from waking up in the night and not getting enough sleep. When I'm mediating quarrel after quarrel. When the moaning starts and there is no cut off time to it. When the crying starts and then everything else besides combines to set off the Mommy-ain't-goin-back fuse and I think, I'm afraid I won't be able to do it anymore

Then this morning's reading comes up
"Don’t be afraid, for I am with you"

There's no reason to fear when I am here
When you feel at the end of yourself, it's then you will find my strength
Waiting for you in the centre of it all.

Waiting for me in the centre of it all is strength in the heart of my life. My God is the centre of the heart of my life and he smiles strength, oozes it into the fibres of me, marinades me in it, reminds me of it. I don't have to be afraid, cause he is here, with me.